Being hardwired for creativity is not always a blissful thing…
- Prevents you from doing anything too monotonous, safe or orderly (like most 9-5 jobs)
- Incessantly nudges you to search for the meaning in things
- Never lets you rest and always pushes you to do solely what makes your heart sing
For me, navigating life in a society obsessed with the labelled and organized therefore hasn’t always been an easy feat. So what’s a girl to do?
“society obsessed with the labelled and organized”
One morning not so long ago, I was walking my dog Mae (as in West). It was a Wednesday and, as an actor who doesn’t have a consistent acting job right now, I was faced with another day all to myself.
99% of the time, days like this are my absolute favorite, but for some reason on that day, I felt like I was facing another day of the same, monotonous emptiness. And the day after that would be the same, as would the day after and next week, next month, next year..
what’s the purpose of all this??!
I watched people streaming past me, scurrying to get to their 9-5s. Why? What’s the purpose of that? They give up 80% of their time to make money that they spend in the remaining 20% that’s left to them? Surely, that makes no logical sense. If you love what you do that’s one thing, but how many people with a 9-5 (or longer) can truly say that? I’ve been living in New York for over 3 years and only met a handful of such unicorns. I’ve always known that giving up 80% of my time and (mostly) my soul for a job that will enable me to eat nice dinners and travel 2 weeks out of the year wasn’t going to be my spiel. Frankly, I still don’t understand how it can be anyones spiel, but all lives and fates are different.
They have their 9-5, but I have my empty apartment, a hungry bank account and lots of spare time.
And then a thought occurred to me:
The point is, to make to your heart sing.
Making your heart sing out, having your soul on fire, feeling unlimited joy in life -that’s the point. And it’s entirely up to me, how I navigate this path.
There’s no other time than NOW
If I want to do something in life, the time is now. Not tomorrow, or next week, or when the conditions are perfect, when I have more money, or time, or wisdom – NOW.
And who says I can’t make mistakes? So what? If I make a mistake, I start over – but I will have learned something. I will be stronger, smarter and better for it.
I marched back to the house with a newly found swing in my step and smile on my face. Even Mae felt the elevation in my energy! I sat down at my computer and started crafting what I’ve been thinking about for way too long – my blog.
“Well, that’s anti-climactic!” Some of you might think.
But really, it isn’t. When have you last committed yourself to something purely because you had a deep inner desire for it, against all odds? With no promise of any material gain, fame or fortune?
Exactly. It’s not as easy as it sounds.
I started my very first blog back in 2009, when I moved to Berlin, first time away from home, and wanted to keep my friends and family updated on how life is going. Oh how I wish I stuck with it! Bloggers were few and far between at that time, and by now, 9 years later, maybe I’d have a blogging empire! Well, I was too scared, I felt it was silly, and frankly, it was way too much work for my party-seeking, ultra-young self. I’ve made a couple other attempts since then, but this time is different.
I want to create an online space, an online sanctuary, that will change my life and the life of others.
And there you have it, that’s the real why.
I want to change my life and the life of others. I want myself and as many other people as possible to find what makes their heart sing, what turns their soul on fire, what gives them a pep to their stride. That’s the point of life, after all.
Shortly after this life changing thought chain, my husband sent me a very interesting video, advocating for people to make mistakes in order to get further in life. You should all watch it. If you feel like you want to start pursuing what makes your heart sing, but are too scared of failing (used to be me), it’s is a must-see. You can find it here.
Go do it, go fail and start again
However small your step is going to be, just make sure it lights up your face when you take it, makes you feel a little lighter in your body, and gives you an unexpected sense of mental clarity.