November 22 marked our First Wedding Anniversary ❤
Time flies SO quickly!
Our first year has not been the easiest one, but we’ve learned so much along the way and we are so excited to say that we’ve come out of it much stronger & more in love than when we entered it. To mark this occasion, we want to share the top things we learner during this past year.
Top 8 things We Learned During Our First Year of Marriage
Having grown up in the Czech Republic, I never knew what a huge industry weddings were in the United States. Before moving to the US, the purpose of wedding planners was a complete mystery to me. I understood that they helped people plan their weddings, but I never got why anyone would need help with that anyway…until I got engaged.
We went against the grain on almost all aspects of our wedding:
- planned it in 3 months
- didn’t have a wedding planner
- didn’t have a wedding party (just best man & bride’s maid of honor)
- I picked my dress alone on a trip to Chicago, and liked the third dress I put on
- Our wedding had 35 attendees
- We had it in Alabama on a beautiful lake
I’m not saying you have to go as extremely minimal & no fuss as we did, but I will say that giving up years of your life to plan your wedding, losing your sanity over the wedding venue & making yourself miserable in the process is not necessary.
Your wedding is a fun party, but really it marks the beginning of your lives together. As much as it’s important to celebrate the kick-off, it’s even more important to dedicate tremendous energy, care, love & effort to all the time as a married couple that lies ahead. And honestly, that is so much harder than planning even the most elaborate wedding.
I was a little nervous on the day – I thought I wouldn’t be at all, but the atmosphere definitely got the better of me. Standing at the altar with Micah, my knees trembled. He gave a wink & I knew all was going to be good. We said our vows, and exited the church through the aisle. It was all over so fast.
It was all over so fast
As we retreated through the foyer, I turned to Micah and said “ I wonder how people who spend their life’s earnings on this feel; in this very moment”
And I still can’t even imagine it. If you’ve been planning your wedding for years, it might dawn on you, in that moment, that it truly is just a SINGLE DAY in your life.
Sure, throw an AMAZING party so that you and your friends & family can have the best time, but don’t fool yourself into thinking that an amazing wedding = amazing married life.
Stay within your means, don’t let family or society dictate what your day is going to look like & just do whatever works for the both of you!
Being married to someone & living with them all the time is a big transition..and sometimes you need to work out a few kinks as you move along.
There are so many great resources & ways you can seek practical tools on how to make your marriage work; to make sure that both parties feel respected, heard & loved.
We had to complete an online course prior to our wedding so that we could get married in a Church. Coming from a secular background, the course often made me chuckle or roll my eyes, but in truth, I learned some things that I think back to almost daily.
Choose whatever floats your boat, there are so many options, but don’t presume that just because you love each other & are married, everything will work like magic.
There is no shame in getting help.
The First Year is the Hardest
Every habit, procedure, protocol, and domesticity you didn’t even realize you had or thought was a given will be challenged. Don’t think you have a specific way of doing things that is so inside you that you don’t even realize it? Time to wake up like a bucket of ice water during January hibernation sleep.
You’ll need to be prepared to negotiate, think through and rationalize EVERYTHING to find the best marriage of both your prior lives.
***there might be some kind of exception if you’ve lived together extensively before marriage, but otherwise, buckle up buttercup***
If you can stay honest, you may come out alive on the other end with something better than you had before. Anything you avoid will just return with friends from gladiator school, so deal with things before they start creating a life of their own.
Marry a Heart,Not a Dossier
Life comes at you faster than you realize. Even now.
The wild party-animal pagan you signed on for may pick up a bible and decide its the one thing they’ve been missing all their life.
Maybe you put on 30 pounds when you no longer consume chicken breasts and broccoli from tupperware as your go-to breakfast, lunch and dinner 6 days-a-week.
Or you could lose your job.
People also die.
So make sure you can trust the heart; whatever comes or changes. Because when it comes, it will be a flood.
Watch and Listen
You’ll quickly find out that language itself offers a scarcity of terms in ways you never imagined. Watching someone’s face contort in a way that could only be possible if they were hearing something other than what you are saying can be a real wake-up call.
When I say “cute” everyone draw the picture that pops into your head. Case and point. (all the pictures are different. some of them radically so). It’s best, in the rare instance that you do need to speak and notice a looming face contortion, that you pause and see if you can get your listener to repeat back to you what they ‘heard you say’. Then be prepared to clarify. You may need a dictionary.
Have Lots of Sex
Its a great way to blow off steam, reconnect and honestly, if you’re not having lots of sex, then I’m not sure why you’re married.
Single people chase that sort of thing all over the city. You don’t have to. Get to it.
Feed the Things You Want to Grow
All gardens sprout prickly weeds and thorns. You married your person for a reason; hopefully reasons. So complement, court and use all your charisma re-enforcing that (those). Do this and you’ll find more, and soon you’ll have built a giant, lovely garden so impressive and intoxicating that the occasional barbarous weed won’t bother you so much.
Directional gratitude is your friend.
Thanks so much for reading! We are so excited to be stepping into our second year, will report back what we find!
Lots of Love,
Micah & Tereza